Sunday, August 9, 2009

Viva La Hamptons Circuit!

Recently, a friend of a friend used the phrase "see you on the circuit" as a Hamptons version of "see ya later" and it got me wondering...what IS the circuit? The Urban Dictionary definition for "circuit" is a party with abundant drug usage, dancing and hooking up, especially a series of such gatherings which move from place to place. And the word used in a sentence: "Stay away from that one, he's a circuit boy and is nothing but trouble." Hmmmm....

Here's my interpretation, based on the activities of the crew I hang with. Please note the below itinerary does not apply to everyone but even those who claim to be "better than" this vicious cycle can be found at one of the below stops if not all.

Friday
  • 4:45 Leave office to catch Jitney, pick up rental car or bum ride off friends
  • 6:15 Drive past Le Frak City (housing project) and Ali Baba (gaudy restaurant) on LIE
  • 6:15-9:00 Get stuck on LIE for hours on end, bitch at NY drivers, try to hold it in until exit 70
  • 9:30 Pull into Meeting House on Amagansett Square, brave mob scene for bar space
  • 9:30-12:00 Drink pinot noir, tequila on da rocks, air kiss dozens of people you don't really know
  • 12:00-12:30 Debate whether to hit Stalkhouse (The Stephen Talkhouse) or not
  • 12:30 Brave line at Stalkhouse, pay $25 and expect the worse
  • 12:30-? Have tequila shots and red bull, boogie on the dance floor to mediocre but fun band, make out with stranger, eat hot dog sold by Asian lady out front

Saturday
  • 7:45 Wake up for a run on the beach (if you did not go to Stalkhouse); Walk home on the beach dressed the same as night before (if you did end up at Stalkhouse)
  • 8:00-1:00 Individual activities (nap, lounge, drink, bike, yoga, jog, drive, shopping)
  • 1:00-2:00 Lunch at La Fondita, Clam Bar or Hideaway OR consume tons of chips and cheese and crackers
  • 2:00-5:00 Beach time
  • 5:00-7:00 Go to Cyril's and have rum topped banana baileys "milkshakes" in a big parking lot or get ready for Surf Lodge
  • 7:00-9:00 Check out the scene at Surf Lodge, complain about the cheesy crowd
  • 9:00-9:30 Debate where to go next, complain more about the cheesy crowd
  • 9:30-? Pick your own adventure: Stalkhouse, Meeting House, beach bonfire, home, stranger's home

Sunday
  • 10:45 Wake up late-ish from exhaustion whether you went to the Stalkhouse or not
  • 10:50-12:00 Yoga/Spinning/Jog OR wait on long lines at Mary's Marvelous or Farmer's Market to spend $6.50 on a plain croissant
  • 12:00-5:00 Debate when to return to city or stay the night, lament the monotony of the Hamptons party scene, plan to do totally different things next weekend
  • 5:00-9:00 Surf Lodge redux or cook a big dinner at home/friend's house
  • 9:30-next Friday morning: Sleep, wake up, work...the week's a blur

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